Sunday, July 18, 2010
The Journey Through Sciatica
I am on this Sciatica journey, I don't know which station is this. Lately the ride is bumpy, the climb is steep. Are we there? Did the return journey start? Hope so...oh God! please ...hope so.
It is a journey of intense pain, only my husband witnesses what I go through in the morning , crawling all over the bed to find the right spot that'll pick me up. He tries in vain and realizes that what he takes for granted is not an option for me. He stands patiently with his stretched arms. When I find strength I throw my self on him. Now he is the walker that back strides until I reach the the bathroom. Then I am on my own.
Once I can walk I walk ( Newton's third law of motion)..I try to take advantage, fool the Sciatica monster and walk at least three hundred steps that take me ten minutes in the hall way.
The tea kettle whistles, the smell of toast is in the air. I come down stairs to have my Earl ray tea... no not yet, I take a cup of milk and a Vicodin. My last Vicodin was at 3 AM in the morning,. so my leg muscles now wear out .The sciatica monster reminds me - after all you are still my slave.
I go upstairs to lie down. An hour later I find I have some strength to be sunny side down. Yes, I reside in the den these days, on the floor, on a child's sleeping bed with lots of Treasure Trolls prints on it , some how it escaped the Salvation truck donation box.
I open my lap top- ZZ on my page saver gives a big smile...You'll be fine- I hear the message. I give her a kiss.
Friends want to come to drop food. I push them away. I can't sit for even ten minutes. Yesterday it was so sweet of A (my husband) - he brought my favorite Thai food for dinner and lit a candle. We missed a wedding today that I really wanted to attend. This would be our way to celebrate.
I couldn't even sit to eat. I threw a tantrum because there was no milk or something. Why does he forget these things. Tears rolled down my face. He was upset that I saw only what he could not do.
My god! No. My tears were coming from absolutely different source. I was touched at his tenderness, but the outburst was weird, out of my control.
My alter ego drew a chair and started defending him, how hard it is to see loved one suffering, don't you remember how helpless you felt when he had the flu for two weeks last winter?
Ms Alter Ego reminded me of the blog posts I read the other day from a Sciatica site, how a young 27 year old girl was suffering - not only physically, but mentally too as her marriage was falling apart, her career and self image... how the old lady in her eighties was handling it in India , taking care of her ninety year old invalid husband while their grown up children were abroad in U.S and Australia.... When you look down you find your misery is not so serious.
The Oriental Lilies have come out. They peek- a boo their faces out with coy from the Shasta Daisy bush - Remember the October after noon last year when you planted us ? Here we are. Where are you?.
Well, this evening if I can, I'll go down and smell them before they wilt for this year. It is getting pretty hot lately.
Yes, my MRI report has come. A typical case of degenerated hernia
The gel between the two spinal discs ooze out and is tickling the Sciatic nerves. The Sciatic nerves have poor sense of humor - so they made a big fuss and is flaring and trembling and throwing a fit. A shot would be given to them soon Jul 22. That should calm them.
66% of the patients recover with this shot. I should too. I pray for that. And all who care for me when they do that too , it'll make a big impact.
To keep my sanity I do blog hopping all over the world.
The picture of the beautiful necklace is created by Emin. She probably lives in Japan. I came to know about her work through blog hopping. Just wanted to share her work as an appreciation of her art. Her website