Sunday, July 18, 2010

The Journey Through Sciatica

The Journey Through Sciatica

I am on this Sciatica journey, I don't know which station is this.  Lately the ride is bumpy, the climb is steep.  Are we there?  Did the return journey start?   Hope so...oh God! please ...hope so.

It is a journey of intense pain, only my husband witnesses what I go through in the morning , crawling all over the bed to find the right spot that'll pick me up.  He tries in vain and realizes that what he takes for granted is not an option for me.  He stands patiently with his stretched arms.  When I find  strength I throw my self on him.   Now he is the walker that back strides until I reach the the bathroom.  Then I am on my own.

Once I can walk I walk ( Newton's third law of motion)..I try to take advantage, fool the Sciatica monster and walk at least three hundred steps that take me ten minutes in the hall way.

The tea kettle whistles, the smell of toast is in the air.  I come down stairs to have my Earl ray tea... no not yet, I take a cup of milk and a Vicodin.  My last Vicodin was at 3 AM in the morning,. so  my leg muscles now wear out .The sciatica monster reminds me - after all you are still my slave.

I go upstairs to lie down.  An hour later I find I have some strength to be sunny side down.  Yes, I reside in the den these days, on the floor, on a child's sleeping bed  with lots of Treasure Trolls prints on it , some how it  escaped the Salvation truck donation box.

I open my lap top- ZZ on my page saver gives a big smile...You'll be fine- I hear the message.  I give her a kiss.

Friends want to come to drop food.  I push them away.  I can't sit for even ten minutes.  Yesterday it was so sweet of A (my husband) - he brought my favorite Thai food for dinner and lit a candle.  We missed a wedding today that I really wanted to attend.  This would be our way to celebrate.

I couldn't even sit to eat.  I threw a tantrum because there was no milk or something.  Why does he forget these things.  Tears  rolled down my face.  He was upset that I saw only what he could not do.

My god!  No.  My tears were coming from absolutely different source. I was touched at his tenderness, but the outburst was weird, out of my control.

My alter ego drew a chair and started defending him, how hard it is to see loved one suffering, don't you remember how helpless you felt when he had  the flu for two weeks last winter?

Ms Alter Ego  reminded me of the blog posts I read the other day from a Sciatica site, how a young 27 year old girl was suffering - not only physically, but mentally too as her marriage was falling apart, her career and self image... how the old lady in her eighties was handling it in India , taking care of her ninety year old invalid husband while their  grown up children were abroad in  U.S and Australia.... When you look down you find your misery is not so serious.

The Oriental Lilies have come out.  They peek- a boo their faces out with coy  from the Shasta Daisy bush -  Remember the October after noon last year when you planted us ? Here we are.  Where are you?.

Well, this evening if I can,  I'll go down and smell them before they wilt for this year.  It is getting pretty hot lately.

Yes, my MRI report has come.  A typical case of degenerated hernia

The gel between the two  spinal discs ooze out and  is tickling the Sciatic nerves.  The Sciatic nerves have poor sense of humor - so they made a big fuss and is flaring and trembling and throwing a fit.  A shot would be given to them soon Jul 22.  That should calm them.

66% of the patients recover with this shot.  I should too.  I pray for that.  And all who care for me when they do that too , it'll make a big impact.

To keep my sanity I do blog hopping all over the world.

The picture of the beautiful necklace is created by Emin. She  probably lives in Japan. I came to know about her work through blog hopping.  Just wanted to share her work as an appreciation of her art. Her website


shila said...

Hi Dita,Yesterday I walked over several sites relating degenerated hernia and I have found nothing but positive outcome either through exercise or taking the injection which you will be taking on 22nd. Between my search and your data I do see possibility has increased to 80%. It will increase to 100% when I give you a view of a research that 200 controlled experiments in humans, plants, animals and even microbes suggest that compassionate , loving prayers and intentions of one individual can affect another individual or object at even great distances. Our individual mind appears to be connected with all other minds, no matter how far apart. I wish and pray that you get well soon. Love, Shila

Pretty Things said...

OMG we have the same thing.

I have two degenerated disks, between the top lumbar and bottom thoraic. I don't get sciatica, though -- what I get is a constant burning where my kidney is. It took over a year for someone to take me seriously and send me for an MRI.

Have they given you Lidocaine patches? You may want to ask for some of those, as they helped me some. Also, ask about going to a Pain Clinic. I did and it helped some.

Thinking so much of you!

Jai Hok said...

Dear Anindita,
We are back in India.While our flight took off the ground at SFO,your sweet face just peeped through my mind and believe me I was feeling so low (that includes my son's well being too!)....
I could understand your agony as I have gone through similar situation a year back.Our husbands have no options other than to watch us suffer with severe pain and measured movements.Still, I guess that your situation is a little better than me as I could not even lie on bed on different postures other than a very few...So,please wait patiently to combat the Sciatica monster,with your course of shots and physio therapy and get well soon.
Meanwhile,open your heart into beautiful blogs and relax as much as you can.

Wired 4 Style said...

Hi Dita,
I am pleased that your shot has given you some relief. Pain management is no fun. I can relate to your situation. Think positive and believe there is hope. We experience what we believe.
Many blessings,

alankarshilpa said...

Thanks Terry. I am feeling better each day and doing Yoga and walking and making sketches of work that I want to in near future. I get a lot of inspiration from artists like you. Thank you for your friendship. Dita.

Anonymous said...

Hi, I love your work! I came to this page to see the beautiful necklace, then I read about your sciatica. I hope that was the last time you have it. When I had my first sciatica I had to be indoors for several months. When I got a bit better, I thought myself how to eat with chopsticks and started bird watching through my bedroom window and from the balcony. Our house was located on the shore of a beautiful lake with many birds in our garden and in the water. I learned everything about each and every bird I saw. I used books, as this was before the era of the Internet. Birds are really interesting! And no more eating with metal cutlery in Chinese restaurants. Greetings from Sweden Anna

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